Shhhh......don't say it too loud......

I think my desire to knit is starting to come back! It went away right after the passing of Fiona, my knitting buddy. She took a lot from me when she left.....she was so much a part of my heart and soul.

Getting through a mild blessed winter and adopting Misha and Raina ---- the black cloud is leaving and the house feels full of frisky life from the girls. I have picked up my needles again and have finished and felted three projects already. Instead of just wanting to crawl in my bed and sleep like a hibernating black bear, I am staying up a little longer in the evenings and getting up a little earlier to once again become a part of my family's life and I'm taking back my own life. If you have never dealt with diagnosed depression and seasonal anxiety then the above words will not make sense to you. God is always faithful to hold me up and guide me through these dark times in my life.....and He is ALWAYS the light I cling to during the darkness that covers my heart and mind until the real sunshine of spring and summer come! I love you Jesus.

WINTER HAS COME.......

YUCK!

UP DATING-THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY!

My darling Fiona is gone. She fought hard this spring and summer agains aging kidneys and she lost the battle on our anniv. 7/11/2011. It doesn't seem to hurt quite so much now, but still at times - mostly late at night the thought of going thru winter without her is almost unbearable to me. But, this time of the year, it doesn't take much to rattle my world. The darkness is settling in and with it comes the cold and snow. I love and miss you Fiona - wait for me on the other side won't you?

When Fiona "left" I stopped knitting and don't feel at all inclinded to do it without my knitting buddy. :-(


THAT WAS THE BAD AND UGLY - NOW HERE COMES THE GOOD!!!


In Jan. 2011 I was given Mrs. Tiggy Winkle - my very own hedgehog! She is a retired breeder from the Peavey Farm and she became a wonderful sofa buddy at night! Her and I would cuddle and fall asleep at night - sometimes Fiona would join us as well. It became the thing I looked forward to in the dark winter months. She would coo and snore in my ear........(Tiggy, not Fiona!!!! )



This is Tiggy being entered in a Progressive

photo contest. She did not win! Pooh!

The in May 2011 I was given one of Tiggy's off spring - his name is Pippin! He is smaller and younger than Tiggy - and not as friendly, but he is coming along nicely. I am being patient with him because I believe no one handled him that much. They do not "meet" because they would try to do the "nasty" and that would not be good for ANY of us!!!! lol


Then in December 2011 our one remaining cat, Molly (Boooolllleeee) (who really was Scott's cat) had to be put down because her one eye had totally gone blind and the other was about to. It was her time to cross over the Rainbow Bridge.

My house was totally empty of felines and it felt awful!!!! Jessica works at PetSmart and found these two adorable Russian Blue 9 mon. old sisters that were there for adoption. It didn't take very long and before I could blink an eye - those sisters were in my home filling it back up with cat love and life. Misha and Raina - two different girls, and so full of life and love!

There are learning to live in a home and they are pretty much taking over, which is what cats do!

I thank God for the ups and downs of my life in 2011. The crushing pain of losing Fiona and the joy of getting Misha and Raina. The ups and downs of my spiritual walk....... the fact that Jesus remains faithful and true in all He promises He will be for me. I am thankful for my family, friends, work and church family.

Okay, 2012 ----- let's see if we can do this together! Let it be a huge year for spiritual growth, church growth, a new church building, and me getting on fire for knitting again!!!! :-)

Why do we compromise our Godly standards?

A troubling question.

I see brothers and sisters who have been Christians for decades compromising their Godly standards....... for who? for why?

I read this interesting article :

It was talking about Jesus and how He handled the temptation to compromise.

Luke 4:5-7 says, "The devil led Him up to a high place & showed Him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to Him, "I will give you all their authority splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. So, if you worship me, it will all be yours."

Boy, that was temptation!

You know, every week people line up to buy lottery tickets, fantasizing about buying new homes, and new cars. Doing all the things that they couldn't do otherwise.

"Here it is, Jesus", Satan says, "I have control over the people of this world. They're serving me. So, let's make a deal. Don't set your standards so high. Just compromise with me, and all this can be yours."

Is Satan using the same temptation on you?

Are you playing fast and loose with the truth, cutting corners, compromising with that which you know to be wrong? All this just so you can get more & more? More of what?

I don't think there is anything wrong with material things.

God gave them to us. But who is really the owner of the things that we have ? (Including our family members?)

Is God the owner, or am I? If God is the owner, and He's just loaning all of this to me, then my responsibility is to be a good steward of it and to make sure that God is exalted by the way I use it.

Jesus did the right thing. Vs. 8 says " Jesus answered: It is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only."

He did the right thing for the right reason. He DID NOT COMPROMISE!

Pray about it.

THE DELICATE WORKINGS OF THE BRAIN

My Dad has dementia with a "trace" of Alzheimer's. He is 85 years old and though he has been able to keep his mind as sharp as possibly can at 85 but he has a lot of other issues going against him ...... peripheral neuropathy plays a big factor in his brain function as well.

Changes and disturbances in his routine really throw him off. Mom and I have gotten use to being able to work very hard at keeping him "safe" from changes etc. but now that he is in the nursing home things are out of our control. It's hard to watch what it is doing to his mental status.

He has been "acting out" these last couple days and it is hard for Mom to sit there and listen to him accuse her of seeing other men, of dating some of the nursing staff etc. It is my prayer today that God will touch his mind and restore it to a functioning level.

God is able to do just what He said He would do!
GOD IS ABLE!

Only God can make such beauty.........

So after writing yesteday's post, I came out this morning to get into my car to head to work and I looked down at my dark blue coat and was totally taken back by the beauty that God had created for me! There, gently drifting down from the cloudy sky came individual snow flakes ....which landed on my coat and thru the contrast on the dark blue it showed God's wonderful handywork. I smiled from ear to ear!

Who doubts that the Lord Jesus exists? Take a look at that snowflake!!! Each one different....awesome is what I say! And leave it to my Heavenly Father to "toy" with me this morning....... knowing full well that I am "not comfortable" with this whole snow/white stuff........ at all. So He sprinkles my coat with these beautiful snowflakes....... and I am, of course, totally blown away!!!!

He is amazing and HE IS ABLE!

Thanks for loving me even when I grumble Jesus!

Tired of it already..................

Some people love winter (skiiers, snowboarders, etc.) and love to see the snow fly. Some love snow just around Christmas because it makes the season so "romantic" and "festive". Bah. Bah-humbug.

I loved winter when I was little...... not a care in the world. I didn't shovel --- my Daddy did it all. I just got in my little old snowsuit and off to school I WALKED. Didn't worry about my Dad who drove dangerous country roads in pieces of junk milk trucks/bread trucks. I didn't pay attention to how upset and worried my Mom was until he came home safe and sound...... no cell phones back then.

Then I moved out of the house, moved to the city and lived on my own.........and suddenly the snow wasn't a "cute" as before. But, I still was young, had no fear and drove as such.

Then I became a wife (now I had a husband to worry about coming home late on bad country roads.....) and a mother....... and suddenly ...... snow and the cold winter months became hell on earth to me. Lack of sun light, always cold in the old drafty farm house, shoveling, hauling wood, furnace always breaking down, shoveling, cold fingers and feet while trying to clean off cars and shoveling. Then always my favorite..... shoveling. lol

Now the hatred has peaked with me being older and easily exhausted after ....... you guessed it.....shoveling and hauling wood. Now my darling toddlers are full grown women, working and driving in this "winter wonderland" - --- Making the process of trying to tolerate the white stuff almost unbearable.

Some people have told me that I have to love the snow because God created it....and He would not create anything bad. I agree 100% that He created it, and that He would not create anything bad...... but the Bible does not say I have to love snow. It says that I have to give thanks in all things................. And to that I say "Thank you Jesus for the snow that waters the earth." (By the way Jesus, I hate the stuff!!!! )

So, there my winter vent for today.